Polish Perfect

Introducing the triad of my nail polish routine.

On the leftmost, Sally Hansen Double Duty, which I use as my base coat only, even though it’s a base and top coat. Why? Trust me, you wouldn’t want to use this as a top coat.

On center is H&M Red Over Heels, a deep red nail polish reminiscent of… blood.

On the right is Sally Hansen Mega Shine, a true top coat. Makes polish last a week.


What I love about nail polish? This might be surprising, but… the smell. To others it’s obnoxious, and toxic even. There is something about its toxic smell that I find… therapeutic. Quite like the smell of gasoline when you refuel at a gas station.


The A-“Lister”

I know I’ve already written a post about PERRI LISTER, but can we stop and look at my girl crush one more time?

Red lipstick, red nail polish, black leather-look outfit, and fishnet stockings. She’s rockin’. Fierce, a bit weird, but oh so aesthetic. Perri Lister is goals.

Flash Those Fishnets

Risque title for a risque garment.

The history of fishnet hosiery will forever be entangled with the inappropriate woman, i.e. hookers (go on, do a Google search). It is forever controversial. Never safe. Never definite.

And that’s not a bad thing.

As per the Observer:

“Jean Paul Gaultier and Vivienne Westwood went on to become established, respected, and followed high-end designers, and they peppered their style with these touches of punk, these elements that alluded to sex– blurring gender lines like fishnets,” said Ben-Horin. “I think a lot of the meanings we ascribe to fishnets today, that wild, untamed sexiness, a kind of empowered femininity comes from these designers and the subcultures that influenced their work.”

Fishnets are more flexible than nylon tights though, that’s why (as I’ve read) dancers prefer them.

This Mirror article is even entitled Stylish or slutty? The fishnet tights trend is dividing the office – so whose side are you on? with a caption that reads “Fishnet tights are officially back in fashion, but once the reserve of ladies of the night will you be wearing this divisive hosiery trend?”

Maria Suarez, on Cultura Colectiva, had this to say:

Even as they were circling the market, most people were unaware of the existence of fishnets or believed they were only meant for a certain kind of women. With their hems growing shorter, the party girls of the roaring twenties brought out these loosely woven stockings that allowed them to dance all night while showing off some skin. They became their own form of rebellion.

Even freaking Wikipedia went this far to say “Generally considered to be a sexy garment, it may serve as a component of sexual fetishism.”

Wild. Untamed. Empowered. Divisive. Rebellion.

Just some words throughout this blog post that stuck with me. Forget everything, I’m wearing them.

When I Cry

I cry a lot. On the morning drive to work (when I was a student, on the drive to school). At work. When I get home from work. Before sleep (my personal favorite).

There was one class in law school where a professor’s introductory question was, “What’s wrong with you?” My answer was that, “I’m a crybaby.” The professor asked, “What do you cry about?” If I said, “Um… I really don’t know,” I know people will laugh or look at me like I’m some weirdo, a freak, so I just said, “Family problems.” That kind of shit.

I always thought that there might be something wrong with me. A perfect day passes by but when I go to bed, there’s this sudden impulse to just shed tears, sigh heavily, even gasp for air sometimes. There could be nothing wrong that happens throughout the day, in fact, it could be a great day! But then, sometimes, there is this unbearable urge to just… break down.

There were nights that I just came home from an awesome party, but before I lose consciousness to sleep, you guessed it. I cried. I know what tears of joy feel like and those definitely were not tears of joy.

If crying is a bad thing, then why do I feel better after?

I could experience no loss in my life, no bad event, and I will still be able to make myself cry. It is an overwhelming ability. Am I neurotic? Am I the cover girl for Green Day’s Basket Case?

After these crying spells, I always have a couple of questions for myself. What’s the matter with me? Why am I so ungrateful for all the good things in my life? Why did I cry for no reason? Why do I do this to myself? Is there something wrong with me? Am I mental? Is it PMS? It can’t be because my period just ended. Then why the fuck am I crying?

I don’t know, or maybe it’s because…

Crying makes me feel alive. I feed off of it.
I cry to feel alive in a world that is desperate to kill me.

When I cry, I’ve made it a point to repeat that like a mantra.

I am in the process of teaching myself to stop thinking that there’s an underlying problem for why I sometimes cry for no reason, at any given time, at any given place. My crying spells don’t pick a time and a place. My tears will fall and my throat will tighten when they want to. It’s happened before and I’m sure it’s not going to just stop happening.

Before discovering this approach to my crying “problem,” I always felt afraid, scared that there’s something wrong with me, something wrong with my hormones, or that I might have a mental disorder (in which case, of course, there’s nothing wrong with that).

But now, what I think is really terrifying is when I lose the ability to cry. Maybe because that’s when I know I’m numb, or dead inside, or well… dead.

More Grease and Lightning for Greased Lightning

Greased Lightning is a great song, in a great movie, no doubt. However, and that’s a big however, for me, it would have been better if it were sung by someone like this:

Pardon the video featuring a barely clothed Sid Vicious, but let’s focus less on appearances and more on vocals and attitude. Though not skillfully sang, there’s a sort of guilty pleasure I get by listening to this song, in fact, it’s in my punk rock playlist.

What makes this guy a good fit for Greased Lightning? It’s probably his no-fucks-given attitude and vibe. I would give my spleen for Whiplash Smile, To Be a Lover era Billy Idol or Sid Vicious to sing Greased Lightning… or Kenickie himself, played by Jeff Conaway, as it was supposed to be (if not for Travolta’s cry diva moves).

I’m not here to bash Travolta, but Greased Lightning is a greaser’s song. Having an “edgeless” cheesy stage diva sing it is like having Anarchy in the UK sung by… Avril Lavigne or Miley Cyrus (at least you know these two try, or tried). I need more edge, more genuine edge. John Travolta and greaser subculture? I’m leaving that question hanging for emphatic effect.

Go watch that Greased Lightning number and imagine the whole song sung with Kenickie’s delicious raspy vocals, let’s see if you can still tell me, eye to eye, that you prefer the Travolta version.

For your convenience.

Kenickie was edgier, rougher, more rugged, he’s the one wearing the leather jacket???

You smell that? Something’s smokin’!

If you’re going to add some cheese to that edgy track, it could’ve been done more like this:

No offense, but the John Travolta version just doesn’t. do. it.